The Worst Break Up Ever

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They met when she was 12 and she knew there was something special about him. She didn’t know how to express what she felt, as she had never experienced it before.

He was smart. He was kind. And he listened to her every word. He told her she was beautiful. He left love notes for her and whispered things in her ear that no one else ever had.

He was a gentleman. He respected her family and even comforted her when there were issues in the home. During her teen years when all of her friends abandoned her, he was there. She didn’t know much about him except that he always seemed to show up with the right words at the right time and she wanted to spend as much time as possible with him.

As she grew older they grew distant.

They didn’t speak as often and more times than not, it was He whom initiated their now strained conversations. It was apparent he still cared, but by this time real life set in and she developed new friends and interests.

He had many friends, and was very well accomplished. Yet, he would reach out to her just to check up on her from time to time. Grateful, she would reply when she could find time.

Years later, she had started and ended several relationships. Even when she was with other people, he always held a place in her heart. She would call on him from time to time. Each time she did, he was never too busy and if she needed anything, he was there at the ready. He was genuinely concerned about her and the child she had. He didn’t judge her history with men although he kept reminding her that she deserved better.

And then one day it happened. She spoke with him and he asked if he could see her. He invited her to bring her child as well. After all, they were old friends and he knew her from childhood. It would be great to catch up.

She got dressed and couldn’t believe how excited she was to be seeing him again. He asked about her life and they laughed and cried just like old times. He told her that day how much he loved her and had always loved her from the day they first met. He asked her how she felt about him and tearfully she poured out her heart and told him that she had always loved him and that no one had ever loved her the way he had.

They began to spend more time together and with each passing day her love for him grew. He introduced her to his lifestyle. He made her a better person. He taught her things about herself and the world that she had never known. He was SO wise.

He introduced her to a life of goodness beyond measure. She need only ask and he would give her what she wanted, often before she asked. He was a Father to her child. He introduced her to his friends; some she had known from childhood and others were new to her.

Her family was not supportive of their relationship. In fact, they distanced themselves from her because of it. When she needed a shoulder to cry on, he showed up with tissues. He gave her flowers and did all of the things women dream that their ideal companion should do. Even when she lashed out at him in anger, he didn’t dismiss her. He knew what motivated her and he knew the pains of her past. So, when she needed space, he gave her space.

She had it all.

And then she got bored. And tired. And frustrated. And confused.

Because as good as life was, she found a way to spend less and less time with him. He would call and she wouldn’t always answer. There were times that she was consumed with guilt, fear and shame that she couldn’t see the new life he had elevated her to.

So she ended it with him.

Because she didn’t feel that she deserved him.

He was crushed. He had never met anyone like her and knew that he would never again.

That was once the story of my relationship with God.

I was lost. I was lonely. And I left myself open to things that God would never have desired that I experience.

Oh, I tried to find happiness in people, places and things.

But I was miserable.

And mad about it.

I can’t explain why I ever chose to break up with him.

And I will never understand why he took me back.

But, I’m glad he did.

Because he didn’t deserve to be treated the way I treated him.

That break up was the worst break up ever for me.

And I don’t ever want to experience it again.

One thought on “The Worst Break Up Ever

  1. WOW. Thank you for your transparency and early morning tears. I’m sure when many of us look back over our lives we have experienced much of your story. Thank God for infinite chances and His unconditional love.

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