Do You Remember…September?

Tomorrow is the 10 year anniversary of 9/11.

About 4 years ago, I wrote a blog post  entitled “Blocked” and although it was about forgiveness, I wrote in detail about my twisted relationship with the month of September.

I reposted it again on 9/10/11.

I think it’s appropriate that I repost it again this year, because September holds so much promise for me.  My life has been made fuller, richer and so much more meaningful because of all of my September’s past.

This year, I am the owner of a successful company http://www.amassdigital.com and I’m happier than I’ve ever been.  But, it was a tough road getting here.

Walk with me…

BLOCKED

Although we are only 10 days into the month, I must add that God has now BLOCKED the curse of September in my life.  This September has brought in tremendous opportunities, miraculous growth and happiness beyond measure for myself and my children!  I can’t imagine the pain that September brought me before and I look back and know that no matter what it was – God’s has always had his hand on me.

I’m grateful beyond words….

But, I will never forget the lessons of September past.

Originally posted:  November 20, 2009

Last night while on twitter, an acquaintance posted messages about forgiveness and forgetting.

I cry.

I bleed.

I heal.

And now I share.

In the hopes that some else who has cried, who has bled will heal.

I knew I would need to share this story publicly some day.

My only request is that you share this as respectfully as possible.

I have forgiven many things.

Some of them, I will NEVER forget.

“There were dangers awaiting me

Destruction was sure to be”

Many years ago, someone hurt me.

Very badly. Inside and out.

I was in an on again and off again relationship.

Then 9/11/95 came.

The devil had a plan to kill me, I know.

As I was leaving my home with my then seven month old baby, I was attacked.

He tied me up.

He choked me until I passed out.

He pulled locks of hair straight out of my scalp.

He nicked my lips repeatedly with the fine blade of a knife.

He held my baby upside down by his ankles.

He said I could leave, but, he would chop my baby into pieces.

And he attempted to do unmentionable things.

“The fact that I’m still a live today

Ain’t nothing, nothing but a miracle”

Then 9/09/01 came.

My attacker was released from jail.

Then 9/11/01 came.

I had a doctor’s appointment in the second tower of the World Trade Center.

My boss called and told me to work from home.

My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer.

Haven’t lived a perfect life

Seems I’ve done wrong more than I’ve done right.

Then 9/2/07 came.

My mom died.

Clearly, September hasn’t been good to me.

My dad died 9/8/88, and my mom was buried 9 years later to the day.

I forgive the month of September and look forward to it every year.

I don’t forget the events of September past, how could I?

Just as I forgave the month of September, I forgave my mother.

Long before she refused to acknowledge me as her daughter on her deathbed.

I forgave my dad for not being a father.

Long before I went to the morgue to identify his body.

I forgave my attacker.

That took longer.

But, I forgave him.

How do you know when you’ve forgiven someone?

When you release the need for revenge.

When it no longer matters to you who was at fault.

When you let it go and move on with your life.

When you CHOOSE to use the negative to propel you forward into your purpose.

When you are strong enough to share it with others so they can learn from it.

That’s why I CAN’T forget.

If I forget,

If I erase the memories,

How can I help someone else?

I’ve got life to live.

There are blessings he wants to give.

“Thank God for angels shielding, protecting and looking out for me.”

Do You Remember?  Never Forget 9/11/01 and those who lost their lives.  It could have been me and countless others who were spared by God’s grace.